That’s the continuous overthinking about something happened that has created negative feelings. It’s an over criticism that sets your mind on a negative perspective, leading you to the inability of moving forward.
Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, a professor of psychology at Yale, says: “It’s natural to look inward, but while most people pull out when they’ve done it enough, an overthinker will stay in the loop.”
So, how could you stop ruminating then? How could you leave that mistake behind your back and move forward?
Dwelling comes from the feelings triggered by the failure, and the perspective that you have about it. Sometimes it may also come from an overpressure that you put on yourself, as you would expect yourself to handle situations in a different way; leading you to blame yourself for failing. If you want to stop doing it, you have to acknowledge and accept those feelings, and change the perspective.
- – Change perspective: begin to think that you have done the best you could for the way you are at the moment. Begin to think that you can always get better, developing your skill set, getting able to handle better those situations. Begin to believe that what happened has happened not against you, but for you. For you to grow and become better.
- – Acknowledge your feelings: how did you feel at the time of what happened? How do you feel when you overthink? Is it the first time that you feel in that way or did it happen in the past already? Write everything down, it will give you an idea of why that situation triggered those feelings and you react dwelling on it.
- – Acceptance and forgiveness: accept your feelings, if they are there it means that they are part of you. It’s not nice to experience them, I know, but the more you try to escape, the more the get to you. Face them, accept them, and forgive yourself for experience them and handling situations the way you do right now.
- – Move forward: leveraging the above, begin to believe that you can work on yourself and become the person able to handle whatever you decide to focus on. Begin to believe that there is always something to improve and that if you failed in the past it’s because you did not have all the skills you need. Skills that you can develop at any point with dedication and practice.
Our beliefs and thoughts are a choice. We all decide whether to believe to be able to make things better or not. We behave as a consequence of what we decide to believe.
Changing perspective and accepting your feelings is what will set your mind on a more positive channel, leading you to improve yourself, gaining the skills you miss and move forward.
Please, do not hesitate to comment below if you have any questions for your business, I would be very happy if I can help you to overcome this situation.
If you prefer, you can send me an email here
You might be interested in…
I am Stefano Fracchiolla, CEO of Serendipity Marketing. I help entrepreneurs and business owners to build up a strong business mindset and have their businesses under their control.
I am a business owner, investor, mindset specialist and speaker.
Would you like to stay in touch?